Distractions at Dinner

Over the past few weeks I’ve really been noticing how distracted we are at dinner. Whether it is friends or couples or families the distractions are always there. Sometimes it’s a television that is at the restaurant and sometimes it’s our cell phones. It seems like we can’t sit down for a meal and not pull out our phones, or not get sucked into the sports game that is on the television behind our date’s head. I too am guilty of this, but I want it to change.

            

This past week I told my fiancé that I didn’t want us to use our phones at all when we were out to dinner. This was said after we were at Malawi’s for dinner and we couldn’t stop watching the televisions that were situated all around the restaurant. We are usually really good about not using our phones when we are together, but I know that we can do better. Not that the use is always bad, but it is still a distraction. Sometimes we both have a question and don’t know the answer so we’ll whip out a smart phone. But why do we have to do it right then? Why can’t we wait til after dinner? But we can, we can wait.

            

I think really being there and really engaging in conversation with those we are with is so important. I have the goal to be less distracted. I want to be more focused on the individuals I’m with because I want those that I’m with to be able to focus on me as well. Distractions are everywhere, but we can choose. We are in control of how much time we give to these distractions.

Technology & Multitasking

I loved today’s lecture! It really got me thinking about how involved and attached I am to my phone and my computer and the media – particularly social media. I know that I am guilty of trying to multitask. In fact, I think the majority of the time I am trying to multitask. After seeing statistics, I don’t think I’m very successful at it, even though I’ve had lots of practice. For me, this lesson was very motivating. I want to spend less time on my phone and less time trying to multitask and more time involved and focused on what is happening around me.

Especially with my relationships, I want to be more involved. I do think that I’ve done fairly well with not letting my phone be a distraction when I’m with friends and family, but I know I can do better. I now have the goal to text less in some of these relationships. Not that all texting is bad, but I want more phone calls or in person visits. I want more face-to-face. I want to make sure that the people I’m with are getting my full attention, because I in return would hope for theirs.

Another place where I know I need improvement is during my homework and study time. I am constantly checking my phone aimlessly and wasting so much time. My productivity level goes way down the more I check my phone and I know my focus is lost every time I do it. I want to be able to sit in class and not feel the urge to check my phone. This is a time where technology, especially cell phones, is taking over. Though I know how valuable and beneficial they are, I also don’t want it taking control of my life.

I liked the video that Professor Coyne showed at the end of class. I have the goal to look up. I want to minimize my time on my phone and really see what is happening around me. I don’t want to live through virtual friends and I don’t wan to live through my cell phone screen. I want to live with those around me and make real memories. Not just memories that look nice on Instagram, but REAL memories that I only need those that really matter to me, to remember with me.

The Mask You Live In

This documentary was extremely eye opening. I did not realize that men went through the struggle that women went through when it came to identity. I can now see clearly the pressure that men go through just like women do to fit into and please society. The cultural and societal expectations and views of men are somewhat horrifying. They are taught through the media and through male model figures that masculinity means power and not showing emotion and battling through. We are conditioning men in our society to live up to a stereotype that we don’t actually appreciate or in a lot of ways value.

            

From the beginning, from a very early age boys are told to be tough. They are told not to cry and that fighting is okay is you’re showing dominance or winning power or respect. This can then lead to more aggressive behaviors. From men’s aggression that is often conditioned from a very young age can come drug use and sexual violence and delinquency and school dropouts and many other problems. It was alarming to hear and read some of the statistics for boys and men in the country right now. The amount of violence, the amount of drug use, the amount of rape or sexual aggression, the amount of fights, the list is staggering. It is crazy to think that one of the main reasons for this type of behavior is because we teach that a boy needs to be tough, he needs to be dominant. He needs to be masculine and not show sensitivity or weakness.  

      

There is so much that needs to change. That change can start in the home. If it can’t be found in the home it can start in the schools or on sports teams if we can educate others and ourselves about the issue. We as parents or teachers and educators or coaches or just individuals trying to set a standard, we can try to take away the societal pressure that is placed on boys and men. Just like we can with women. In order for something to actually happen, we have to stop reinforcing what is seen on television or in the movies. We need to let men show emotions. We need to encourage them to be emotional and sensitive and not bottle up all their pain and anger and sadness. We need to make men, and all individuals feel whole. We need to make them feel valued and as complete human beings. The research shows that the current behaviors and actions of men are not as positive as we would like them to be. It is going to take conscious effort to better the behaviors and actions of individuals who feel an immense amount of pressure to preform and impress because of ambiguous, yet very clear pressure and stereotypes.

Media Violence

After our media violence lesson I really got thinking about the violence in kid’s shows, especially Disney. Looking back, there is so much violence that I didn’t even notice or really think twice about. And why is that? I think it’s because there is no real consequence. Like we discussed in class, as kids are watching these movies and shows, they are not seeing the reality of such actions. This really is alarming because the message being taken away is that violence is okay and there won’t be any pain or negative side affects.

I was reflecting back on movies that I watched over and over this summer with the kids that I nanny. Three of the most commonly watched movies were: The Incredibles, Robin Hood, and Big Hero 6. I really enjoy all of these movies, but they all have a lot of fighting and a lot of violence. It’s just interesting to me how insignificant the violence seemed because it didn’t seem to be causing much pain and because in all honesty… they’re Disney. Disney seems so trustworthy and so great for kids. And most of the time it is! But I’ve learned that no matter the company, the content always needs to be monitored.

Media Violence is something I want to be very aware of so that I can do a good job monitoring what my children watch. I do think that violence in the media is somewhat of an unavoidable thing. But as I can educate myself and my children and seek out age appropriate shows and material, I think it can be kept under control.  

Miss Representation

This week in class we watched the video Miss-Representation. Through out this semester my eyes have been opened and I have noticed things in the media that I haven’t always been aware of. I think I’ve seen for a while the objectification of women, but through this class, and this video, I really saw the problem that it is. IT IS EVERYWHERE!!!

This video really scared me. The fact that the objectification of women is everywhere, and that it sells, and that so many people are okay with it, it made me so sad. It really made me want to change. I know that it will take more than just me, but if I change, I think I can at least affect the lives of a few. Starting with my children. One reason that I was so alarmed by this video was because I do not want my kids to be exposed to this kind of media. Yet, it almost seems inevitable.

Though it seems there has been a slight push to make a change, to make women seem stronger and more independent in a handful of films, it is still a very very low percentage. So what can I do when this type of media is so prominent and accepted by so many? I can teach my kids. I can sensor what they watch and what is watched in the home. I’ve always wanted to be careful about the media in the home, but this class and video has really made me see the NEED.

Media Usage

In my Adult Development class we talked about how media use—specifically the amount of time watching TV—increases with age. This just made me think about my media consumption right now and what media will really be like as I start to age and when I’ll eventually make the shift to being an elderly.

I asked myself the question, “With how much media consumption I am currently at, if it is said to increase with age, what will that mean when I’m older?” This was a scary question for me because with the amount of time I spend with the media now, that would mean even more time when I’m older! And I thought to myself, I’m not going to have time for that! OR… If that really is the case, I won’t have time for anything else!

I want to cut down on my media usage. This class has really made me see and think about the harm that comes from too much media, and also being more careful about the media we consume. This week I really got thinking about what I want to be doing with my spare time, and it’s not always watching TV or flipping through Facebook. A movie or TV can be a nice break, but I do not want it to be my go to when I feel like I have nothing to do.

I want to make sure that media is enhancing my life and not taking over my life. I have set goals and intend to be more infrequent with my time spent with the media.

Social Media

I recognize the harm that can come from social media and its many forms. I’ve seen it do a lot of harm, but this week I discovered a new appreciation for social media and saw it fulfill a good cause that wouldn’t be able to be accomplished any other way.  Though there are positives and negatives, it is a unique tool and can be very helpful. If we choose to use it properly, and in moderation, social media is in all honesty, amazing.

Social media has some downsides. It can be very time consuming—I know this all too well. I have wasted countless hours on social media, my biggest weakness being Instagram. It is something that I turn to when I’m bored, or even when I’m not bored, I’ll still use it to avoid something like homework. Social media has been something that has interrupted my studies and interfered with my concentration. I have used social media to the extent where I know my productivity levels have dropped because of it and it was something I had to fix. Media in general can be very addictive. Social media is something that is easy to make a habit and can quickly turn into more. And this, of course, is something we need to be careful of.

I’ve also seen how social media can destroy self-image and it has become a way that allows for people to portray their lives in a non-realistic way. It brings about competition and comparisons and doesn’t display the full truth in many cases. What we don’t want is to gain or lack self-worth or self-confidence based on social media.

Recognizing some of the bad that comes with social media, I also felt extremely grateful for social media this week. This week I felt that social media is truly able to unify and serve a great purpose. Whether is was the birth of a baby or an engagement or the sharing of a scripture, it is a great way to stay in contact and reach those, and so many, that you wouldn’t be able to normally. It gives people the opportunity to see and support so many of those around them. We can teach, share, and announce what is playing such a large impact in our current lives.

As we use social media, hopefully in a positive and beneficial way, it’s important to remember to value ourselves and share things that truly matter to us. If we do this we can gain a lot from social media and it can be a great tool to take advantage of.